Category Archives: Comedy

Ruthless People

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Sam Stone's schemes to get his wife's fortune hits a snag in "Ruthless People"

Sam Stone’s schemes to get his wife’s fortune hit a snag in “Ruthless People”

By Judy Berman

When someone does you wrong, how do you handle it? Do you feel powerless?

There’s no need to. You can turn the tables on the bad guy.

There should be an app for that. One you can download – off the Internet or from your local library.

Take a page out of O. Henry’s short story, “The Ransom of Red Chief,” written in 1910. Two kidnappers’ scheme to rip someone off backfires. But getting found out was not the worst of it.

The kidnappers get more than they bargained for when they grab a rich man’s son and hold him for ransom. It soon becomes clear to the men who the real hostages are. Before long, they’re only too willing to pay off the boy’s father so he’ll take his son back.

A twist of that theme has endless possibilities. Here’s how it played out in the movie, “Ruthless People” (1986). Sam Stone (Danny Devito) plans to kill his wife, Barbara (Bette Midler), so he can inherit her fortune. His plot hits a snag when a kidnapper calls and demands Sam pay a ransom of $500,000 to get his wife back … or she’ll be killed if Sam doesn’t pay up.

The conniving, little fiend is delighted, thinking someone else is going to do his dirty work for him, and he’ll soon have Barbara’s fortune.

The kidnappers, Ken (Judge Reinhold) and Sandy Kessler (Helen Slater), hatched this scheme to get back at the Sam for profiting from a fashion design he stole from Sandy.

Too late, Ken realizes he has double-trouble: Barbara is a terror that he’d be only too eager to return and her husband doesn’t want her back. Ken drops his demand to $50,000 after Sam fails to show for the ransom drop.

Furious about being kidnapped and unaware why she's still held captive.

Furious about being kidnapped and unaware why she’s still held captive.

Unaware of the stalled negotiations, Barbara has been working out in her kidnappers’ cellar. She’s dropped about 20 pounds. Sandy notices, brings out designer clothes that would make any fashionista ecstatic and suggests Barbara try them on. They are Sandy’s creations.

Sandy confides to Barbara that she was kidnapped to get back at Sam and her for stealing her creative ideas and profiting from it. Barbara tells Sandy she didn’t know Sam had stolen Sandy’s designs.

Then, Barbara asks when she’s going to be released. Sandy reluctantly tells her that Sam will not pay the ransom, even though they just dropped their demand to $10,000.

Barbara’s dumbfounded. She’s worth a fortune. She cries, “I’m being marked down? I’ve been kidnapped by Kmart!”

Sam’s girlfriend has get-rich plans of her own. Carol (Anita Morris), a gold-digger, conspires with her dimwitted boyfriend, Earl Mott (Bill Pullman), to blackmail Sam. She wants Earl to videotape Sam when he disposes his wife’s body.

Carol doesn’t bother to view the tape first and mails it to police. Instead, the videotaped evidence will show another “crime” in progress. Carol convinces police to investigate Barbara’s disappearance. When they’re snooping around, Sam realizes he better bring Barbara back alive … or, he could be charged with her murder.

Now, Sam is only too eager to pay the ransom. There’s just one little glitch. Barbara’s cooked up a plan with the kidnappers to fleece Sam out of more than $2 million.

Sam’s outraged, but he agrees to meet Ken. When Carol learns of the drop, she tells Earl to go steal the ransom money.

They're not clowning around as they wrestle with ransom payoff.

They’re not clowning around as they wrestle with ransom payoff.

What follows is Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will. Cops lay in wait for Ken to show up. The slow-speed chase that follows and the final outcome are hysterical. Revenge is sweet.

It’s an ending that O. Henry would approve of. Perhaps, it will provide inspiration to you should you want to even the score.

Movie Trailer – Ruthless People – Barbara attempts to escape her kidnappers 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-12. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Video: Ruthless People – “I’ve been kidnapped by Kmart”

Video – Music – Ruthless People sung by Mick Jagger

Main Photo – Ruthless People – Danny Devito and Bette Midler – split image http://www.bing.com/images/search?danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&qpvt=danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=FB0D724D61A89E65C72C92AE05B397079810994F

Photo – Ruthless People – Bette Midler exercising during her captivity http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=bette+midler+and+ruthless+people&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=bette+midler+and+ruthless+people&sc=0-0&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&id=6629F167CA33F3374F3281A019EEC4BA3D788128&selectedIndex=46

Photo – Ruthless People – Danny Devito and Judge Reinhold wrestling over the ransom money http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&qpvt=danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=306DBF9F8781AF9239A7804A48F5C3F750EC9E52&selectedIndex=259

A Devine Bit o’ Blarney

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A woman leans backwards to kiss the Blarney Stone.

A woman leans backwards to kiss the Blarney Stone.

By Judy Berman

On the train from Dublin to Blarney, I begin to wonder just what I’d gotten myself into. The signs posted were in Gaelic. The folks around us were speaking in a beautiful brogue – and we didn’t understand a word.

But we arrived without a hitch and basked in the village folks’ warm welcome.

The old castle, built in 1446, beckons. It’s the third structure built on this site, and it’s a long climb. This trek, taken years ago, meant that I’d have to lean over an empty space in the wall while lying on my back to kiss the Blarney Stone. Well, I had some second and third thoughts about that before finally giving in.

I was convinced that I didn’t need to do this to acquire the gift of eloquence. Being part-Irish, I always assumed that was in my DNA. But my husband and I did just that. (Our youngest daughter, who already has the gift o’ gab, declined.)

Blarney Castle

Blarney Castle

After kissing the stone, you are supposed to be bestowed with the gift of blarney – or “clever, flattering” talk. Smooth-talking charm aside, I doubt that I could have pulled off what townspeople in the tiny Irish village of 52 people in Tullymore (Tulaigh Mhór) accomplished.

One of their own won the National Lottery. But no one knew who. I’d lived in a community like this. The livestock outnumber the residents and everyone knows everyone else’s business. The world almanac of misinformation, the owner at the local grocery store, filled in whatever information was missing.

The townspeople hold a chicken supper, hoping that the winner will at last be revealed. No dice. But they notice that one of the townsfolk is missing: Ned Devine. Quite odd.

Two friends, Ian Bannen (as Jackie O’Shea) and David Kelly (as Michael O’Sullivan) rush to Devine’s cottage to confront him. But Ned is dead, and in his hand is the winning lottery ticket. The shock of winning killed him.

Honest folks would have alerted authorities. When 7 million pounds is involved, however, scheming Irish eyes are smiling about what they could do with the prize money.

In “Waking Ned Devine” (1998), Jackie is convinced by a dream that Ned wants the town to share his wealth. So Jackie and Michael plot with the townspeople to deceive the claim inspector from Dublin. They are all to pretend that Ned is alive and well. Then they can all be rich.

In the scam to defraud the lottery officials, Michael poses as Ned. This becomes a bit awkward when the claim inspector stumbles into the church where Ned’s funeral is being held. The villagers pretend the service is for Michael.

As Jackie rides with the claim inspector to Ned’s cottage, Michael drives at breakneck speed, naked, on a motorcycle to beat them there.

Everyone’s on board with this conspiracy – except one who has designs of her own on the money. Aye, and that’s the rub … in this fine tale filled with blarney, deception, twists and laughter.

“Erin go Bragh” … Long live Ireland. 

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Video – movie trailer: “Waking Ned Devine” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osmPlQXzXXA

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-12. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or
earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original
content.

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Photo: BlarneyCastle - BlarneyCastle and adjacent east tower View is to west from walkway. To kiss the Blarney Stone, you must climb the steps to the top of castle, go to the arch shown in the photo, lay on your back, and arch your head backwards to kiss the Blarney Stone at the base of the arch shown in the photo. Photo taken April 2001 by Joseph Mischyshyn. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2e/Blarney_Castle_and_adjacent_east_tower_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1625431.jpg/400px-Blarney_Castle_and_adjacent_east_tower_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1625431.jpg

Photo: Blarney Stone – woman kissing the Blarney Stone (Blarney   Castle, Ireland) – August 2002 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/Blarney_stone.png/454px-Blarney_stone.png

Blarney Castle – the home of the Blarney Stone http://www.blarneycastle.ie/

Life’s Endless Possibilities

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By Judy Berman

The days shortly after high school graduation – parties, drag races, broken hearts and promises, and new love. Adventure awaits.

Hot rods cruising the streets of a suburban California town. Rock ‘n’ roll music blaring from the windows. Waitresses roller-skating to your car to get your orders.

Those are the images that the movie “American Graffiti” (1973) captured. The posters asked: “Where were you in ’62?” That question is as valid today as it was then. What do we hope for in the future? What are our next steps in life?

This was a time of innocence – one year before President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. The movie’s also a reminder that we don’t have to stop dreaming just because we’re now grown-ups.

The coming-of-age film focuses on four high school grads who meet at Mel’s Drive-in – Burger City – to share their last night together. In the morning, Richard Dreyfuss (as Curt Henderson) and Ron Howard (as Steve Bolander) will leave for college on the east coast.

Curt’s not sure he wants to go.

“You just can’t stay 17 forever,” Steve chastises Curt.

Steve tells his girlfriend, Cindy Williams (as Laurie Henderson, Curt’s sister), that maybe they should see others while he’s in college. She decides to take him up on that before the evening is over – almost permanently as a result of a drag race on Paradise Road.

The guys go their separate ways. While Curt’s riding around, he sees the woman of his dreams, Suzanne Somers, in a white Thunderbird. She mouths, “I love you,” before she disappears from view.

His search for her is interrupted when he runs into some hoodlums, members of The Pharohs (pronounced FAY-rows). They spot a police car in a parking lot that’s on the lookout for speeders. The Pharoh’s leader, Bo Hopkins (as Joe), convinces Curt to hook a tow cable to the rear axle of the police car.

Curt hesitates, afraid he’ll get caught.

“Look at it this way. Now, you got three choices. One, you chicken out, and, in that case, I let Ants (another Pharoh member) tie you to the car and drag you around a little bit, and you don’t want that. Right?” Joe asks Curt.

Right. Nor is Curt prepared to deal with the alternatives. Option 2? If the cops hear Curt, well …

Option 3? If he’s successful, Joe says Curt can “join the Pharohs with a car coat and a blood initiation and all that.” Uh, Curt’s not too keen on that idea, either.

After Curt hooks up the police car, the hoods race their car past the cops. Curt yells out, “Stand by for justice.” The cops start to peel out. The cable stops them, tearing the rear axle off their car.

Once Curt gets out of the gang’s clutches, he goes to a local radio station to appeal to Wolfman Jack to help him find his mystery woman. The man in the control booth claims he’s not Wolfman. Curt also confides that he’s not sure if he’ll go off to college. Wolfman advises Curt to go out and experience life.

“The Wolfman comes in here occasionally bringing tapes, you know, and to check up on me and what not, and the places he talks about that he’s been and the things he’s seen. There’s a great big beautiful world out there, and here I sit, sucking popsicles,” he tells Curt.

In the morning, all four guys meet at the airport. As The Beach Boys’ “All Summer Long” plays, only one of them is aboard the plane. From the plane, a familiar car is spotted as it threads its way through the street.

This captivating film has many funny, romantic, touching and scary moments and well worth the view.

And Wolfman’s advice? It’s one we all could heed, no matter where we are in life. Venture out there. Explore life’s endless possibilities.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-12. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Poster: American Graffiti (hanging in our office)

Movie clip of American Graffiti (1973) – Go to “Videos – Trailer” on IMDb data base: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069704/

Photo: Wolfman Jack in 1979 http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wolfman_Jack_in_1979.jpg

Photo: Ron Howard (as Steve) and Cindy Williams (as Laurie) – dancing http://www.listal.com/viewimage/791092

Music video: The Beach Boys’ “All Summer Long” (with stills from the movie) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iOhxiO-ngc

Photo: Richard Dreyfuss (as Curt) and Bo Hopkins as (Joe) http://www.listal.com/viewimage/791095