Still Crazy After All These Years


Dave and Judy - our wedding day - Aug. 18, 1984By Judy Berman

That short walk down the aisle is just the beginning for those who exchange wedding vows.

Our journey began 30 years ago this month and, like everyone else on this path, we navigated some very uncertain terrain.

Many times, we’d look back on the road not taken and wonder “what if?” Such as the decision to wait to trade in our car until it hobbled into the dealership on life support.

“This is my fault?” Dave asks, smiling, as we are out on a morning stroll.

“Someone’s got to take the fall for this, and it’s going to be you,” I inform him.

“OK. I’ll take the fall for it,” he says, laughing.

I have to thank the late Jerry Rosen, his former boss and co-worker, who gave Dave the best advice ever on marriage.

“There are two rules,” Jerry told him shortly after we married.

“Rule number one: The wife is always right. Rule number two: See rule number one.”

It was a win-win situation for me. I mean, for us.

Dave and Judy - our wedding day - Dave looking stunned - Aug. 18, 1984

Here are some other pearls of wisdom on marriage:

  1. Erma Bombeck: “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”
  2. Bill Cosby: “For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.”
  3. Barbra Streisand: “Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?”
  4. Nora Ephron: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” (Harry, played by Billy Crystal, in the movie, “When Harry Met Sally.”)

Dave, thanks for your support, your love and for the laughter. Happy 30th Anniversary. For last year’s post about humorous tips on what makes a happy marriage, see story here.

 What’s your favorite memory? Wedding day? First day on your own? Parenthood?

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-15. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider,, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Movie clip: “When Harry Met Sally” 

Music Video: Silly Love Songs – Paul McCartney 

1. Main Photo – Ah! The traditional exchange of the wedding cake – Dave and Judy – our daughters, Jenn and Danielle – August 18, 1984

2. Photo – Dave, with the typical newly-wed man look, ‘What have I done?’ August 18, 1984

  1. congratulations to both of you and happy you are still crazy after all these years, that’s what keeps it going i think. love the quotes too. on the lookout for someone to spend the second half of my life/crazy years with, keep your eyes open for me )

    1. Kate … That movie speaks to me – except for that scene when they’re eating (hysterical) – because Dave and I were friends first. That helps when you have to navigate whatever life throws at you. Thank you. 😉

      1. Oh yes that scene. Whenever we are dining with some of our friends, someone will say, “I want what she has” and we all laugh. Yes best friends first works. My husband and I had know each other 20 years before we dated. We married other people. Then we found each other and that worked.

  2. I love this post, Judy, and Happy Anniversary!
    The TWO RULES are the same two my dad told my husband during a toast at the rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding.
    The father of my girlfriend, who was married around the same time, stood up at her rehearsal dinner and gave this toast advice to her future husband: “Never do anything during the first year of marriage that you aren’t willing to do for the rest of your life.” The young groom took it literally, and every time he didn’t want to help out or give up an evening with the guys, etc., he quoted her father’s advice.
    For their first anniversary he didn’t give her a card or flowers or anything, and she had worked overtime to get him a new golf club he wanted. He smiled and said he expected a new putter for the second anniversary. They were out with their parents and several couple friends for an anniversary dinner when he said this. Her father–and his father–hauled him off for a “talk” after the dinner, but it didn’t change much.

    1. Marilyn … The TWO RULES is an old joke that always makes me chuckle. I’m glad your Dad passed this knowledge on to your husband. Invaluable advice. 😉

      Sorry that your girlfriend’s husband didn’t realize he was in a partnership, that you both want to make each other happy. Happiness shared is far more pleasing.

  3. You did it again – a great assemblage of text, photos, and video. I subscribe to the Rosen Rules for marriage too – It’s worked for us so far, with a little bit of fudging! Happy 30th, you and Dave, obviously still crazy about each other!

    1. Thank you, Marian. I love t he unexpected moments in the wedding photos. Sometimes, much as any of us might be reluctant to admit it, the hubby is right, too, And, yes, we still are crazy about each other. 😉

    1. There are some truisms and chuckles within those quotes, Darla.;-) I love “When Harry Met Sally” because their friendship blossomed into love. For me, friendship was really key in our marriage.

  4. Congrats. It is great you still joke at each other after all this years. Hope to see you at church.

  5. I am or was lost on where to comment but found it! I knew Berman’s growing up here in Syracuse going to Central Tech! Anyway, I found my way here via Timethief and your guest blog. Happy to find you and I am guessing you are not here anymore. Curious as to where you all moved off to! You were just in the neighborhood! I enjoy my meeting with you and perhaps one of these days we can meet at Heid’s! Just wondering where you guys are now and when you might be back again and pray you are all doing well! Your father reminds me of Sam who worked for GE and built a TV or two .. Oh well, as my son has become fond of saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ and I enjoyed the break today! Rick Carter and I’m down in LaFayette but spent much of the time on the North side!

    1. Rick … Thank you for your comments. We didn’t go to Central Tech. Lafayette is a beautiful area as is the north side. I’m not sure when we’ll be returning to Central New York.

  6. Happy 30th to both of you!

    I don’t have a favorite memory. I have a LOT of favorites. (I don’t have a favorite color or season, either, so I guess that explains it.)

  7. It’s obvious you two are still crazy about each other, Judy and Dave. What fantastic wedding photos!

    Happy 30th. Thank you for bringing up the good advice of the late, great Jerry Rosen, a dear friend of us all. Sigh.

    Karen and I wish you both many more years of taking the hit for each other!

    1. Or, we’re just C-R-A-Z-Y! Glad you liked the photos and the post.

      Yes, Jerry Rosen was one funny guy. I crack up every time I remember that line. Jerry is greatly missed.

      Thanks to you and Karen for the good wishes. 😉

  8. It’s great to know you and Dave hubby have celebrated your 30th anniversary. I loved viewing the image and reading this post. We (hubby and I) are still crazy too, Judy and when I think about favorite memories something akin to a I have a kaleidoscope appears in my mind. Best wishes for many more happy years together.

    1. I love that kaleidoscope image, timethief. Just bursting with so many wonderful memories that you can’t contain them in one color spectrum. Beautiful! Thank you for your good wishes. 😉

  9. Oh Judy, I so relate to many of your memories in this beautifully written post. What a beautiful bride you were! Many, many congratulations on building a happy life together.

  10. Lovely and fun post. Happy anniversary! I loved your wedding photos and the When Harry Met Sally clip. I haven’t seen it in a while, and it is just perfect. I’m glad you and your husband are “still crazy after all these years.” 🙂
    I waited to reply to this post because our older daughter was just married this past Sunday–two days ago. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet.

    1. Best wishes to your daughter and new son-in-law. How exciting to see your family grow.

      Our daughters, sons-in-law, and grandkids really made our day very special. They prepared dinner, a menu in Italian (which my grandson, age 11, read, and my 13-year-old granddaughter translated). Great fun, food and so happy to share that moment with them. 😉

      1. Thank you, Judy!
        It sounds like you had a wonderful celebration! Food, fun, and memories (plus some Italian) shared with family–what more can you ask for?

  11. I love all the quotes you’ve given here, especially ‘the two rules’ or perhaps it’s one! 😉 And Barbara Streisand is very correct in saying why would a woman complain after all that time! It’s probably one of the most common reasons for couples splitting up, married or otherwise, for some strange reason there is this desire to change the person already admired and loved into a more acceptable version. That can’t be right!

    You sound like you both have a great sense of humour which I’m sure is essential to not only surviving marriage, but life. I really pity those who just can’t find the funny side to anything. How do they survive? 😦

    It’s lovely to see pictures of your wedding Judy, and also so lovely read a marriage success story. I hope you have many more happy years together! 🙂

    1. Suzy … Thank you for the lovely comments and best wishes. I do enjoy our times together – whether it’s at mealtime or when we’re out on a stroll. We chuckle about the day’s events or just the absurdities of life.

      We also chuckle over the Two Rules. It’s like the running gag from Ocean’s Eleven: “You had ONE job.” Marriage, of course, is multi-tasking. Taking the opportunity to look at the lighter side certainly lifts our spirits. 😉

  12. What a beautiful anniversary post Judy! You look so happy and beautiful in your wedding gown. I am so sorry I am late to the party. Belated but warm anniversary wishes to you and Dave! May the love that you share grow with every passing year 🙂

    PS: We celebrated our 39th anniversary on Wednesday! Where did the years go????

  13. I’m sorry I missed your anniversary, dear Judy. I’m gonna see if I can hire some people to come over and throw rice at you. I’ll also hire a cleaning lady to sweep it up, ’cause I’d hate to see Dave get stuck with extra work… : )

    Sincere congrats, wishing you both much happiness, now and always!! : )

    1. You crack me up, Carl.

      When we were at the airport, we overheard a guy talking about his 10th anniversary. “Best 70 years of my life.” Huge chuckles. But I’m not sure his wife was laughing.

Comments are closed.