Dear Dad, luv Judy

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My Dad in his World War II Army photo

My Dad in his World War II Army photo

By Judy Berman

Flashes of lightning and the rumble of thunder are comforting sounds to me. I sleep easily thru a storm, and I have my Dad to thank for that.

It’s one of many things he wrote about when he began writing to me after my Mom died.

His letters covered cautionary tales on my decision to become a teacher, insights about zoning in the Nevada desert and humorous asides. As I reread them, I recall a Greek diner owner once telling me, “No matter how old you get, you’ll still be your parents’ little girl.” So true.

So, electrical storms don’t faze me. Here’s why:

As a kid, when lightning crashed all around, Dad taught me to look at nature’s light show with the cool demeanor of a mathematician in a lab. I’d peer out over the couch into the night sky and gauge how far away it was.

All grown, many years later, I’m reading a book by Patricia Polacco to my grandchildren. The author explains how her grandmother figured the speed of sound. I quickly jot off a note to Dad for his opinion. Dad wrote back that Polacco’s grandmother was way off in her calculations in counting the time between sightings of lightning and the sounds of thunder.

“A rough figure is 1,000 feet per second. So 5 seconds would be a mile. That’s what we did when you were a kid,” he responded.

Dad watching my brother, Hank, play chess.

Dad watching my brother, Hank, play chess.

Whether we were buying a car or switching jobs, Dad was there to offer his advice or share his experiences.

On education, Dad’s view on our schools is echoed by many today. He didn’t think the schools paid enough to its school resource officers or to its teachers.

“The pay is not high enough to attract former metro cops. The same problem applies to teachers. The salaries offered will not allow teachers to buy decent housing,” Dad wrote.

“I’m afraid your world and that of your students are very far apart.”

How true. In this ever-changing world, that is the one constant. Nothing remains the same – except the low pay.

His take on the lighter side of life was a welcome diversion. Even when he was being corny, he was the master of delivery and timing. Mom would gently scold us: “Now, stop laughing. You’ll only encourage him.” Then, she’d turn her head away from us because she was laughing, too.

Once, I wrote Dad asking how the joke went about a worker stealing wheelbarrows. He, ever the skilled raconteur, spun out the following tale.

This “reminds me of a guy who was working at the atomic test site. These atomic blasts involve a good deal of earth-moving equipment before and after the shot.

“In the 1960s, some people did their own home-building, and the lot had to be cleared by a bulldozer. This guy decided to earn extra by clearing lots on the weekend. To do that, he needed a bulldozer.

“He decided to steal one from the test site. Since the test site is very remote, he managed to sneak a trailer in, load it, and haul it home. With so much equipment up there, they didn’t even miss it.

“Things were going beautifully until the hydraulic system failed. So he had another brilliant idea. He would sneak it back on the test site, let them repair it, and then steal it again.

“They caught him when he was bringing it back.”

And Dad had a postscript to my query: “Never precede a joke with an explanation.”

The mailbox no longer holds the appeal for me it once did. My Dad’s letters stopped in 2011, shortly before his passing.

To all Dads on Sunday, June 16th, whether by birth, step, adopted, mentor, Big Brother … Happy Father’s Day. Give yours an extra hug from me.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-12. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or
earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original
content.

—

Video: One of Dad’s favorite musicians, Dave Brubeck, playing “Take Five”  

Main photo: My Dad, Joseph H. Fiet III, in the Army during World War II

Photo: My Dad watching my brother, Hank, play chess

MacGuffins and Red Herrings

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The Bates Motel

The Bates Motel

By Judy Berman

As you sit on the edge of your movie seat, you might be feeling smug because you know what’s coming up next. The director, however, has a few plot devices up his sleeve that you hadn’t counted on.

Some deliberately toy with us by using MacGuffins, red herrings and music to control our thoughts.

MacGuffins drive the story. It might be the theft of documents, or the discovery of a secret, or it could be as simple as a little tune (director Alfred Hitchcock’s The Lady Vanishes). This plot device was popularized by Hitchcock, and earlier used in classic films such as The Maltese Falcon and Citizen Kane.

“The only thing that matters is they must seem of vital importance,” Hitchcock said. As the action intensifies, the MacGuffin “will pretty much be forgotten.”

A red herring is a false clue intended to throw you off track so you do not suspect the real villain, or it leads you to a false conclusion.

As a fan of Agatha Christie mystery novels, my unscientific method to determine who the bad guy was: “who do I least suspect?” That worked perfectly until I read And Then There Were None. In the 2010 movie, Shutter Island, director Martin Scorsese opened with a red herring when Leonardo DiCaprio travels to the island in search of a missing inmate from an insane asylum.

Martin Scorsese, director of "Shutter Island"

Martin Scorsese, director of “Shutter Island”

Music can manipulate us as well. No doubt the menacing theme from Steven Spielberg’s 1975 movie, Jaws: “dun-dun! dun’dun! dun’dun, dun-dun, dun-dun” had you wishing for a bigger boat.

It also can lull you into a false sense of security, such as Hitchcock used in Psycho by a change in music:

In Psycho, Janet Leigh is on the run with $40,000 she stole from her boss. (The theft is the MacGuffin.)

Leigh is driving in a downpour. Irritating music plays while the wipers work furiously to clear the windshield. When she spots what she thinks is a safe haven for the night, the jarring music stops and she pulls into the Bates Motel.

In the motel, as Anthony Perkins and Janet Leigh exchange views, it seems as if she’s decided to return the money. Hitchcock said the viewer is thinking, “this young man is influencing her to change her mind.”

“You turn the viewer in one direction and then in another; you keep him as far as possible from what’s actually going to happen,” Hitchcock said. (This is the red herring.)

Humphrey Bogart as Sam Space in "The Maltese Falcon"

Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade in “The Maltese Falcon”

In The Maltese Falcon (1941), it’s a game of who do you trust. Private detective, Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade, was in that situation as the body count mounted and the double-crosses accelerated. Desperate men are searching for a jewel-encrusted black statuette. Then, they discover the statuette is not the one believed to be given to Spanish King Charles V in the 1500s.

When asked what the black statuette is, Bogart concludes that it is “the stuff that dreams are made of.”

Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane in "Citizen Kane"

Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane in “Citizen Kane”

Some MacGuffins are ordinary. Throughout Citizen Kane (1941), the question is what drove newspaper tycoon Charles Foster Kane? Money? Women? Power? Apparently, it was none of those. As he lay dying, Kane’s last words were: “Rosebud.” “The Top Ten Movie MacGuffins” says “the revelation that this MacGuffin was a symbol of Kane’s lost childhood still packs a wallop.”

What films would you add to the MacGuffin list? What would you include in a list of red herring movies?

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original
content.

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Video movie trailer: Psycho  

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What is a MacGuffin?
http://www.elementsofcinema.com/screenwriting/macguffin.html

The Top Ten Movie MacGuffins
http://www.ign.com/articles/2008/05/20/top-10-movie-macguffins?page=1

Photo: Psycho – movie set at Universal Studios Hollywood, taken Dec. 2008 by Superchilum
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6b/Psycho_set.JPG/640px-Psycho_set.JPG

Photo: Martin Scorsese at premiere of the film Shutter Island. Taken Feb. 13, 2010. Author: Siebbi
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/32/Martin_Scorsese_Berlinale_2010.jpg/640px-Martin_Scorsese_Berlinale_2010.jpg

Photo: Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Sam_Spade.png

Photo: Orson Welles in Citizen Kane 
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Orson_Welles-Citizen_Kane1.jpg

A Hard Rain and Hope for Tomorrow

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A hard rain

A hard rain

By Judy Berman

There’s nothing like a hard rain to drown out distractions. It’s just you and your thoughts alone with the deluge.

It can be the kind of weather that just begs for you to stay home, pull up the covers and go back to sleep. It cleanses and purifies as you quiet your mind.

Or, that steady roar that comes down in sheets from the eaves can be unsettling and bring unwelcome change. It can envelop you in sadness and wipe out all that’s comfortable and familiar.

Bob Dylan’s “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” was filled with apocalyptic visions of nuclear war, environmental crisis, famine, and where people are out of work and face desperate times.

Written in the early 1960s, Dylan might have been speaking of today. His message still resonates. “It’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.”

As it fell, I saw someone standing in the breezeway, just looking lost as the rain pounded down. The next day would be his last one there, as he and nearly 200 other teachers and 80 media assistants in our school district will have to look elsewhere for work. This is the human costs of the district’s efforts to cut $30 million from its budget.

Their departure is a loss for all of us.

The next day, we talked. If you can call my breaking down and crying like a newborn … talking. Dark memories resurfaced in the wake of the layoffs. I told him of a time when I worked in radio. It seems like every 1 ½ to 2 years, I had a new “opportunity” to find employment as a result of format changes or budget crunches.

One time after I got my notice, I awoke in a panic, frightened that I wouldn’t be able to pay the bills and be able to care for my two young daughters. My colleague assured me he’d be OK. It was odd. He was trying to comfort me.

I did survive, of course, and I know that he and others will, too.

For some, however, that recovery is more challenging.

As a reporter, I recall covering the shutdown of a 104-year-old plant outside Syracuse, New York. In 1986, Allied Chemical laid off 1,500 employees. It’s a plant that generations of families worked at and thought they had a job for life.

As the whistle blew to signal the end of their final workday there, I walked alongside folks who were in a state of shock. I felt as if I were at a wake. It was that quiet as workers quietly shuffled out of the factory for the last time and headed home.

It’s a memory that haunts me still.

We’ve gone thru these setbacks many times as a nation. That recovery is harder for some than for others. They’re held back by a change in required job skills, education or a dwindling pool of jobs …

“I saw a white ladder all covered with water,” Dylan sang.

That ladder means opportunity, but the water means it will be more challenging to climb. Like Dylan’s blue-eyed son in the song, we have to go back out there ‘fore the rain starts a-fallin’.

“Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’, But I’ll know my song well before I start singin’.”

We know from the outset that we’re in for a hard rain. But if we struggle and work together, we can safely navigate the turbulent waters.

A new day dawns ...

A new day dawns …

My husband and I have traveled this road and weathered the storm. What I want my colleague and others to hold firm to is: Better days are ahead.

After losing her job at NBC’s “The Today Show,” journalist Linda Ellerbee said: “Every exit is an entry somewhere else.”

“What I like most about change is that it’s a synonym for ‘hope’ If you are taking a risk, what you are really saying is, ‘I believe in tomorrow and I will be part of it,’ ” says Ellerbee, author of “And So It Goes.”

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original
content.

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Music Video – Bob Dylan – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall

Photo: Hard Rain – taken May 8, 2012, in downtown Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico by   © Tomas Castelazo, www.tomascastelazo.com / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/01/Falling_rain_in_mexico.jpg/603px-Falling_rain_in_mexico.jpg

The 10 Greatest Bob Dylan Songs
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/the-10-greatest-bob-dylan-songs-20110511/a-hard-rains-a-gonna-fall-20110511

Photo: Sunrise over Lake Biwa in Japan – copyright  by owner A-giâu, taken in 2004.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3a/Biwa_Lake.jpg/640px-Biwa_Lake.jpg

It Must be True. It’s on the Internet.

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Save the "endangered tree octopus"

Save the “endangered tree octopus”

By Judy Berman

An endangered tree octopus? A subway in Central Florida? A bogus French model shows up for a date? Just how gullible are we?

One researcher says too many believe what they see, just because it’s on the Internet.

Florida is flat as a pancake. Mountains are nonexistent and hills are merely speed bumps, hardly worth mentioning.

So, imagine my surprise when I found Merritt Island – about 15 minutes from where I live – has a subway system. I mean we don’t even have cellars because the state’s built over a swamp.

But there it was photos and all. Impressive figures from history linked to various stages of the subway system: Dr. Wernher von Braun, President Richard Nixon and President Bill Clinton.

Merritt Island Subway System - it's on the Internet

Merritt Island Subway System – it’s on the Internet

It had to be true. I saw it on the Internet. Only it wasn’t real.

That’s one of the stumbling blocks about teaching research to seventh-graders. They see a site that says a current celebrity died – the NEXT day – and they think it is true. I mean. It must be. Or, the Internet wouldn’t post it.

During reports on innovators – creators of new products and ideas – students shared 15 interesting things they learned.

In a report on Steve Jobs, one student told the class that he was fired from Apple because he was gay.

I was flabbergasted and asked where she found that information, because he was fired over a power struggle in the company he formed. She showed me the sites she researched.

One said: When Steve Jobs was younger, he dated “JOHN BAEZ.”

“Uh, I think that’s supposed to be JOAN BAEZ, the folk singer.” Sure enough. (We checked several other sites that verified this.) But my student was too young to know the cultural reference to Joan Baez, so she was unaware of the disinformation – intentional or accidental - provided on that one site.

It became a teachable moment. My class had an impromptu chat about trusting the reliability of some sources on the web … and double-checking facts.

A researcher at the University of Connecticut, Donald Leu, is concerned that the Facebook generation of kids cannot distinguish between fact and fiction online.

“Most students simply have very little in the way of critical evaluation skills,” Leu is quoted saying in an article in the “Daily Mail Online.”

To put his theory to the test, he showed students a fabricated site about an “endangered Pacific Northwest tree octopus” to test their ability to evaluate information they see online.

Sad to say, as improbable as the story was, the students bought it. Even when researchers showed the kids that the information was made up, some still insisted on the tree octopus’ existence.

Science teachers at our school use this site to develop their students’ online reading and critical evaluation skills. Leu said these skills are needed to meet college and workforce demands.

Mais, oui. (But, yes. I am a French model.)

Mais, oui. (But, yes. I am a French model.)

At least the students are one-up on the beautiful, gullible blonde in the State Farm ad who was about to go on a date with a French model she met on the Internet. The “model,” Eric Filipkowski, (obviously a fraud), gives a sly smile, says “Bonjour” without a trace of a French accent, and then walks off with the girl.

A clever ad. It is a cautionary tale for students AND adults to carefully examine any information that’s in print, on TV and the Internet. Otherwise, you could be the fall guy in a scam to relieve you of your money.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original
content.

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Main Photo – tree octopus – hoax  
http://recollectionbooks.com/Cascadia/tree.html

Photo – gullible – State Farm ad  and an article. TV Commercial Star says ‘Bonjour’ to Fame, Columbia News Service:
http://columbianewsservice.com/2013/02/tv-commercial-star-says-bonjour-to-fame/

Florida Subway System Route Map
http://www.urbanplanet.org/forums/index.php/topic/29265-florida-subway-system/

Merritt Island Subway Authority – photo and article  
http://www.misubwayauth.org/html/history.html

Florida Today’s Chris Kridler, a former colleague, wrote about the subway spoof:
http://www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060509/COLUMNISTS0106/605090306/1047/LIFE&nclick_check=1

Video: Fake French Model in a State Farm Ad, “They can’t put anything on the Internet that isn’t true.”

Endangered Tree Octopus (hoax)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1352929/Endangered-tree-octopus-proves-students-believe-read-Internet.html

Dear Mom, luv Judy

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Mom listening as I talk about our adventures

Mom listening as I talk about our adventures

By Judy Berman

Any time I get a whiff of a fresh-baked apple pie, it takes me back to my teen years and our home in the country.

The apples for that pie might have been picked only a few hours earlier. As it bakes, my Mom prepares spaghetti sauce made from tomatoes in our garden.

Savoring her dishes, it’s hard to imagine her as a novice in the kitchen. But she was when she first married. Mom would lament, years later, about Dad’s ordeal when he was in the Army during World War II.

She said Dad had three choices: eat her cooking, the food at the Mess Hall, or starve.

Evidently, Mom was a quick learner, because Dad survived. Not wanting me to repeat her mistake, Mom made sure I was better prepared and knew my way around the kitchen.

Her lesson in survival skills didn’t end there.

While I was in high school, she taught me how to type on a manual typewriter in our kitchen. Mom blindfolded me so I wouldn’t focus on the keys. It worked. As a result, my typing speed and accuracy improved.

Mom was most in her element when she was reading by a cozy fireplace. Her constant companions were Alexander Dumas, Charles Dickens and Jane Eyre. She’d take my brother, Hank, and me to the library, where I’d immerse myself in adventure stories, Agatha Christie mysteries and exotic places.

Mom and Dad outside their home in Boulder City, Nevada

Mom and Dad outside their home in Boulder City, Nevada

She hated the cold. So why did she leave her comfort zone? Some moms do just that when their child gets involved in sports. They sit on the bleachers or sidelines for hours to root their child on.  In my case, when I joined the Girl Scouts, Mom became an assistant leader, and encouraged me to learn more while having fun.

Mom would brave the night’s chill to point out the constellations to help me earn one of my many badges. She’d join me on camp-outs, and make s’mores and other treats over an open campfire.

There are so many things that remind me of Mom. I just wish I could share one more day with her to tell her how much I appreciate the time she spent with me and for her love – even when I was being an ornery teenager.

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms on Sunday, May 12th.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Music Video – Alan Parsons Project, “Time” 

Music Video – Dean Martin, “I’ll Be Seeing You” – I can just see my Mom singing and dancing to this tune.

Main Photo: My Mom, Milly Fiet, and me in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Photo: Mom and Dad outside their home in Boulder City, Nevada

School’s Out – Forever?

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By Judy Berman

Pink Floyd, "Another Brick in the Wall"

Pink Floyd, “Another Brick in the Wall”

The bass in the music is hard to ignore. It’s rocking the walls and floors.

Teens are jamming to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” and screaming the lyrics: “We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control.”

I can relate. When I was in high school, I didn’t like the rules or being told what to do. Maybe that’s why some of my friends called me “Rebel,” although I don’t recall leading any protests or any subversive behavior. Still, I’d love to go back in time and, maybe, have a do-over for some parts of my teen years.

In S.E. Hinton’s “The Outsiders,” the main character didn’t want any one bossing him around, either. But he placed a value on education.

In one scene, Pony and his older brother, Darry, are arguing. Pony threatens to drop out of school like his brother, Soda, did.

Soda tells Pony that he’s “happy working in a gas station with cars. You’d never be happy doing something like that.”

Pony, who is 14, realizes his brother is right.

Some of my seventh-grade students have this figured out. They are planning for what they want to do after high school. If they are forced to take a detour – as I was – I hope their goals and plans are not permanently derailed.

As my graduation day drew near, I was eager to test my wings and leave the nest.  I couldn’t wait to begin the next step in my journey.

There was just one small catch. My grades weren’t all that hot. Would I be able to get into a college? I’d asked my English teacher if she’d write a recommendation for me when I applied to a college. I was delighted when she said yes.

So, imagine my shock, when I was turned down – not by one college of nursing, but by three. My Mom called to find out why. It wasn’t the grades that did me in. It was the English teacher’s “recommendation.” She said that I “didn’t have the stick-to-itiveness to make it through college.”

Infuriating. An English teacher certainly knows that “recommend” means to say something positive. Why didn’t she just say “no” when I asked? Crushed, but not defeated, I decided I’d go to a business school.

A few years later, I did go to college part-time and approached education with a new attitude. In the end, I have to admit, that teacher did me a favor.

I have the highest regard for those in the nursing profession, but I wasn’t cut out to be one of them. That discovery was like a burst of sunlight filtering thru a dingy rooftop window.

Illumination coincided with my college biology professor’s request that we dissect a frog. My partner handled the dirty work, and I transferred to courses that paved the way for me to meet people, go to exotic and strange locals, and to write: first as a radio news reporter and later as a reporter for a newspaper.

My experiences disproved another rock song as well, Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” also known as “School’s Out for Summer.”

Education doesn’t stop when you leave school. If you’re doing it right, you’re constantly learning to keep pace with changes at work and elsewhere in life.

Best wishes graduates. As one phase ends, another magical part of your journey begins. The world really is your oyster.

Not the end, just a new beginning.

Not the end, just a new beginning.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Video: Pink Floyd, “The Wall”

Photo – Pink Floyd, “The Wall”
http://ilarge.listal.com/image/3933722/936full-pink-floyd%3A-the-wall-screenshot.jpg

Video: Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out”

Photo: “American Graffiti” – Ron Howard (as Steve) and Cindy Williams (as Laurie) dancing.
http://www.listal.com/viewimage/791092

Ruthless People

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Sam Stone's schemes to get his wife's fortune hits a snag in "Ruthless People"

Sam Stone’s schemes to get his wife’s fortune hit a snag in “Ruthless People”

By Judy Berman

When someone does you wrong, how do you handle it? Do you feel powerless?

There’s no need to. You can turn the tables on the bad guy.

There should be an app for that. One you can download – off the Internet or from your local library.

Take a page out of O. Henry’s short story, “The Ransom of Red Chief,” written in 1910. Two kidnappers’ scheme to rip someone off backfires. But getting found out was not the worst of it.

The kidnappers get more than they bargained for when they grab a rich man’s son and hold him for ransom. It soon becomes clear to the men who the real hostages are. Before long, they’re only too willing to pay off the boy’s father so he’ll take his son back.

A twist of that theme has endless possibilities. Here’s how it played out in the movie, “Ruthless People” (1986). Sam Stone (Danny Devito) plans to kill his wife, Barbara (Bette Midler), so he can inherit her fortune. His plot hits a snag when a kidnapper calls and demands Sam pay a ransom of $500,000 to get his wife back … or she’ll be killed if Sam doesn’t pay up.

The conniving, little fiend is delighted, thinking someone else is going to do his dirty work for him, and he’ll soon have Barbara’s fortune.

The kidnappers, Ken (Judge Reinhold) and Sandy Kessler (Helen Slater), hatched this scheme to get back at the Sam for profiting from a fashion design he stole from Sandy.

Too late, Ken realizes he has double-trouble: Barbara is a terror that he’d be only too eager to return and her husband doesn’t want her back. Ken drops his demand to $50,000 after Sam fails to show for the ransom drop.

Furious about being kidnapped and unaware why she's still held captive.

Furious about being kidnapped and unaware why she’s still held captive.

Unaware of the stalled negotiations, Barbara has been working out in her kidnappers’ cellar. She’s dropped about 20 pounds. Sandy notices, brings out designer clothes that would make any fashionista ecstatic and suggests Barbara try them on. They are Sandy’s creations.

Sandy confides to Barbara that she was kidnapped to get back at Sam and her for stealing her creative ideas and profiting from it. Barbara tells Sandy she didn’t know Sam had stolen Sandy’s designs.

Then, Barbara asks when she’s going to be released. Sandy reluctantly tells her that Sam will not pay the ransom, even though they just dropped their demand to $10,000.

Barbara’s dumbfounded. She’s worth a fortune. She cries, “I’m being marked down? I’ve been kidnapped by Kmart!”

Sam’s girlfriend has get-rich plans of her own. Carol (Anita Morris), a gold-digger, conspires with her dimwitted boyfriend, Earl Mott (Bill Pullman), to blackmail Sam. She wants Earl to videotape Sam when he disposes his wife’s body.

Carol doesn’t bother to view the tape first and mails it to police. Instead, the videotaped evidence will show another “crime” in progress. Carol convinces police to investigate Barbara’s disappearance. When they’re snooping around, Sam realizes he better bring Barbara back alive … or, he could be charged with her murder.

Now, Sam is only too eager to pay the ransom. There’s just one little glitch. Barbara’s cooked up a plan with the kidnappers to fleece Sam out of more than $2 million.

Sam’s outraged, but he agrees to meet Ken. When Carol learns of the drop, she tells Earl to go steal the ransom money.

They're not clowning around as they wrestle with ransom payoff.

They’re not clowning around as they wrestle with ransom payoff.

What follows is Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will. Cops lay in wait for Ken to show up. The slow-speed chase that follows and the final outcome are hysterical. Revenge is sweet.

It’s an ending that O. Henry would approve of. Perhaps, it will provide inspiration to you should you want to even the score.

Movie Trailer – Ruthless People – Barbara attempts to escape her kidnappers 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Judy Berman and earthrider, 2011-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to (Judy Berman) and (earthrider, earth-rider.com, or earthriderdotcom) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Video: Ruthless People – “I’ve been kidnapped by Kmart”

Video – Music – Ruthless People sung by Mick Jagger

Main Photo – Ruthless People – Danny Devito and Bette Midler – split image
http://www.bing.com/images/search?danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&qpvt=danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=FB0D724D61A89E65C72C92AE05B397079810994F

Photo – Ruthless People – Bette Midler exercising during her captivity
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=bette+midler+and+ruthless+people&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=bette+midler+and+ruthless+people&sc=0-0&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&id=6629F167CA33F3374F3281A019EEC4BA3D788128&selectedIndex=46

Photo – Ruthless People – Danny Devito and Judge Reinhold wrestling over the ransom money
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&qpvt=danny+devito+and+ruthless+people&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=306DBF9F8781AF9239A7804A48F5C3F750EC9E52&selectedIndex=259